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MANUEL: Okay, Mom. We’re recording. So…

TRACEY: I remember many, many years ago, even when I was a really small girl, here on this territory of mine, where there was always this discussion with people… given where there were times of being stressed out and somebody who was close to them noticed that they had come down with a cold or were not feeling well. Sometimes it was due to not sleeping, sometimes it was due to grief and loss… but it’s this idea that if they were stressed out or not taking care of themselves, like their body… that it would all be connected. So, if we didn’t take care of our emotions or thinking that it would affect our body in a way where we’d become sick. And the whole idea speaks to the belief that, in order to heal ourselves, we must be whole. Um, being whole means paying attention to your emotional, intellectual, spiritual, physical… So at times like these, I would hear people say, you know, maybe,: “Go to sleep, take care of yourself, feed yourself properly. And try not to…”

[Tracey’s voice distorts, becoming unintelligible]

MANUEL: “And they called that being…”

[Manuel’s voice distorts, becoming unintelligible]

TRACEY: yeah, it was this idea that you were sick due to an imbalance that was going on with you. That you were almost… you were in a space where your emotions were taken over, and you weren’t looking after yourself by getting enough sleep or eating properly, or just…

[Tracey’s voice distorts]

TRACEY: …sick.

MANUEL: Wow.

TRACEY: I don’t know if that term’s used anywhere else, but I don’t that when I use it here, in this territory –

MANUEL: You’ve never used that term for me.

[Tracey’s laughter distorts, reverberating]

TRACEY: Um… I guess not. Because I haven’t really seen you at a space where maybe…

[Tracey’s voice distorts, reverberating]

TRACEY: …with other things.

MANUEL: I was just having too many feelings.

TRACEY: Maybe you were just having too many feelings.

MANUEL: I was pretty crazy.

[Tracey and Manuel’s laughter warps, fracturing, reverberating]

TRACEY: I don’t know. Yeah. It’s that idea, you know…

[Tracey’s voice distorts]

TRACEY: …say: “Are you getting sleep?”

MANUEL: Mmm.

TRACEY: “Did you eat?”...

[Tracey’s voice distorts, reverberating]

TRACEY: …a lot of these are…

[Tracey’s voice distorts, reverberating]

TRACEY: …people are trying to take care of each other. They think it’s really important.

MANUEL: Yeah, one of my friends… um…

[Manuel’s voice distorts, fracturing, reverberating]

TRACEY: Mmm.

[Louder, reverberating distortion]

MANUEL: She was probably…

[Manuel’s voice distorts, fracturing, reverberating]

TRACEY: Mmm. Well, that’s sad.

MANUEL: Yeah…

[Softer, reverberating distortion]

TRACEY: Yeah.

[Softer, reverberating distortion]

TRACEY: Hmm… Yeah. Yep that’s –

MANUEL: Hmm.

TRACEY: That’s what it is.

MANUEL: Well –

TRACEY: Kind of generally means you’re not taking care of yourself. And you get sick, physically sick.

MANUEL: Wow.

TRACEY: Yeah.

MANUEL: Well, I like that.

TRACEY: Yeah.

MANUEL: But is it sort of also like a sickness that you would say is not able to put into a category? It’s not just being depressed, or just being… having a stomach-ache or having a headache? It’s a combination of all of them?

TRACEY: Yep. It’s a combination of not paying attention to all of your four quadrants, right?

MANUEL: Yeah.

TRACEY: It’s like a… it’s a complete imbalance, so it comes out as illness…

[Tracy’s voice distorts]

TRACEY: …yeah.

MANUEL: No, I don’t. No, I don’t. No, I don’t. No.

[Tracey laughs]

MANUEL: No, I’m not going there…

[Manuel and Tracey’s laughter warps, fracturing, reverberating]

MANUEL: …and yeah. It was shitty.

TRACEY: Mmm…

[Tracey’s voice distorts]

MANUEL: …but, I don’t know. I smudged last night, so…

[Manuel’s voice distorts]

MANUEL: … that helps.

TRACEY: I think so.

MANUEL: So –

TRACEY: It’s an interesting… yeah, it’s an interesting thing because like people can endure… things like, you know, like… I don’t know… going for a couple of nights without sleep, or whatever, do their work, you know… it just means that people are taking care of themselves during that time. But when you connect it all with the emotional piece, the spiritual piece, when you’re not being connected with Creator and you sort of lose hope, that’s when everything sort of falls apart…

[Tracey’s voice distorts, reverberating]

TRACEY:… So.

MANUEL: Yeah. ‘Cause I don’t sleep… enough. But –

TRACEY: I know –

MANUEL: I guess I’m like –

TRACEY: I know… yeah, you’re balanced, right?

MANUEL: I guess I balance it out with all the other shit.

[Manuel and Tracey laugh]

MANUEL: ‘Cause I pray and smudge and –

TRACEY: Mm hmm –

MANUEL: And I –

TRACEY: Exercise, eat good food –

MANUEL: Exercise, eat good food.

TRACEY: Yeah.

MANUEL: And, um… I talk about my feelings…

[Manuel laughs a little]

MANUEL: Well, I’ll let you go, Mom.

TRACEY: I have to go. Yeah, I got an appointment at nine.

MANUEL: Oh god. I got a meeting too. Okay, buh-bye.

TRACEY: Okay, I love you, son. Bye.

MANUEL: Love you too. Bye.

TRACEY: Buh-bye.

Manuel

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Created on the occupied and unsurrendered lands of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), and Səl̓ílwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.